Q: I have been married for 3 years, and my wife and I live separately from our parents. I allow her to visit her parents anytime she likes. However, I do not attend her parents house due to the tension and negative influence they have placed on my wife recently. On the flip side. I have now asked her to come with me to visit my parents house and my brother’s house. Going together as a couple, and there is nothing haram about visiting. As far as my understanding. I have instructed my wife to come with me. She is refusing based on the fact I do not go to her parents house. Can she Islamically refuse? As this is disobeying her husband. I am not obliged to attend her parents house. But as her husband, is she obliged to obey as long as it is not haram?
A: In the Qur’an, women are raised at a high level and just like the Prophet (SAW), it is important that you respect your wife. In my opinion, she has a right to refuse just as you refused to go with her. When in a situation like this, think about the Prophet (SAW) and his wives… what would he do? Would he refuse to visit her parents, then force her to visit his? …NO. He treated all his wives with respect. Maybe if you treat her with some respect and show her kindness, she will visits your parents and you will visit hers one day.
It is a different story when her family is abusive towards you and turning her against you. It is really difficult when people are whispering things in her ear. If she won’t go with you, try going with her to her family. Show them what a good person you are and if they still have the same feelings, then you don’t have to go anymore. If she sees that you are trying to make peace between your families, maybe she will change. If this doesn’t work, keep praying and Allah (swt) will guide you to the right solution.
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